So tempted to cheat. For the first time really. I don't know if it starts with the interview lunch where you're just not able to order the massive healthy green salad you're envisioning, or if it's the allure of all the restaurants around where you can go out and charge dinner to the firm. Maybe just being in a different place where there's no fridge full of tasty local delicious veggies to steam up for dinner. I am working on getting myself out of the hotel to the supermarket so I can get the soy milk and pears that I need, and then pop by Au Bon Pain to get my planned salad wrap - of which I'm theoretically only having half, but I'm feeling weak and unsure about whether I can handle that. I'm considering alternatives, and maybe I'll just get a salad at the supermarket, if they've got that. Or maybe I'll have the salad wrap as 2 meals and skip the protein shake. Tough choices. I hate protein shakes, at least these chalky "chocolate" ones I have, but they are a road option that gives me a huge boost of low-fat protein. Unfortunately, no place around downtown seems to serve steamed tempeh (an at-home staple).
Interviews went fine, blah blah. I am so ready for this process to be over. And lunch today was annoying because there wasn't a vegetarian entree salad option so I had a sandwich. Thankfully it was a wee sandwich, but on black olive bread, which I liked more than I expected but probably had way more fat than I need, especially on a high-fat day such as today. I am cranky and a half right now! And want to eat because of it! Ugh! Maybe that walk will do me well, along with some much-needed hydration.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Day 12: Beantown
I was pleasantly surprised this morning to find that the "health club" at my hotel is actually pretty decent, and that it was in use by quite a few people at 6:30 am. I was able to get in and get on a bike for HIIT, which was pretty great and intense. Then I hopped on a precor for 30 mins of low/med sustained state, which like usual was kind of tedious and I didn't feel like doing it, but I had my headphones and tv news without sound, and it's not like I had anything else going on. We'll see how the weight training goes tomorrow, but they had a fair amount of equipment so I think I can deal with it.
My goal for this trip is to come back weighing the same as when I left or less, and without any big regrets. I can already see and feel a bit of a change in my thighs, which are the first place I put weight back on and my general most hated body part. (I almost always wear skirts so that I don't have to see the actual outlines of my thighs.) So, I've got my food that I brought with me, though I forgot the soy milk so I have to pick some up this afternoon to make the soy protein shakes I brought. Also, as long as I'm making a supermarket run I'll probably pick up some fruit for M2, which at this point is just going to be almonds for the next couple days. And I will hopefully have a salad or something equally light at interview lunches today and tomorrow.
Free day is going to be interesting. It is optional of course, and I'm going to try not to indulge, but maybe I will angle for a birthday lunch and have that be my free meal. Next weekend is my birthday so temptation will be out of control, and my free day is going to be switched to Friday, with no holds barred: tasty birthday dinner, followed by lots of drinks, vegan birthday cake,
and you know there's a chance I'll end up at my favorite late-night munchie spot. My sister has been informed that all the rest of the time I'm sticking to the diet, and she's very fitness-conscious as well, so probably she'll support me on it and if not she knows she has to deal with her own food.
OK, time to hop in the shower and get ready for a very tiring day of interviewing, oy! I stayed up late reading abovethelaw.com, which is probably bad since all it has is bad news about everyplace and now I feel like there's no place for me to work. But I looooved the place I interviewed at yesterday, so there is a chance for me, I think.
My goal for this trip is to come back weighing the same as when I left or less, and without any big regrets. I can already see and feel a bit of a change in my thighs, which are the first place I put weight back on and my general most hated body part. (I almost always wear skirts so that I don't have to see the actual outlines of my thighs.) So, I've got my food that I brought with me, though I forgot the soy milk so I have to pick some up this afternoon to make the soy protein shakes I brought. Also, as long as I'm making a supermarket run I'll probably pick up some fruit for M2, which at this point is just going to be almonds for the next couple days. And I will hopefully have a salad or something equally light at interview lunches today and tomorrow.
Free day is going to be interesting. It is optional of course, and I'm going to try not to indulge, but maybe I will angle for a birthday lunch and have that be my free meal. Next weekend is my birthday so temptation will be out of control, and my free day is going to be switched to Friday, with no holds barred: tasty birthday dinner, followed by lots of drinks, vegan birthday cake,
and you know there's a chance I'll end up at my favorite late-night munchie spot. My sister has been informed that all the rest of the time I'm sticking to the diet, and she's very fitness-conscious as well, so probably she'll support me on it and if not she knows she has to deal with her own food.
OK, time to hop in the shower and get ready for a very tiring day of interviewing, oy! I stayed up late reading abovethelaw.com, which is probably bad since all it has is bad news about everyplace and now I feel like there's no place for me to work. But I looooved the place I interviewed at yesterday, so there is a chance for me, I think.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Day 11: ANGRY!!!
MAN. So last night, late in the night, they replaced a lot of equipment in the gym, as in all of the weightlifting stuff. Awesome right? NO! They have made this place almost entirely woman-proof. They got rid of the 3s, 8s and 12s, and got all these new weight stack machines that can't be used with the supplementary plates that increase the weight more gradually. AAAUGGGGHHHH. I was so mad. I went in to do my upper body workout this morning, and almost turned around and went home. But I didn't want to go home! I wanted to work out hard, and instead I ended up spending a lot of time moping and the rest of the time banging out half-hearted sets with the wrong weight just so I could check this day off. I was in tears by the end. Don't mess with my routine, people!
So, I went through a series of plans in my head to deal with this. And in the end of course I took the most logical and grownup course, because I am a responsible old lady. I went to the facilities manager and told him that it appeared he had removed most of the stuff that I (and other women) like to use, and that it was hard for me to do my workout now. It's kind of hard to explain when I don't know the technical terms for things, but I was like "And the machines, they have plastic, and you can't put on a plate." I was able to make him understand, and he said that they're still settling in and things would be improving. So I said "Well, just remember to think of the women." I'm such an awesome crusader for good. Actually, I just happen to have gone to a women's college, so my first experiences with lifting weights were in a weight room specifically designed for women. I was told that this was an amazing and rare thing, but I didn't realize how true that was until I got here. Even my wonderful little Bally's in Boystown, Chicago had pretty decent stuff for women.
Anyway, upper body workout is checked off and I'm letting go of my anger, trying to have some faith that when I get back in the gym on Saturday or Sunday after my trip, it will be improved. And if not, then I can go through the rest of my list of solutions, most of which involve throwing a temper tantrum and asking for my money back, then joining the $130/mo posh gym down the street. Most of my solutions to life's problems seem to lead me in that direction, but I really can't. Besides it already being $130/month, and therefore cutting into my budget for entertainment and eating and rent, it's far enough away that to actually go there regularly I'd have to buy a monthly subway pass, which adds $76 to the monthly price. Ouch. For $100 I'd just live there and stop going out to anyplace else, but $200/month sadly isn't worth it at this point, despite the awesomeness of the locker room and sauna and everything else. One day I'll have to blog about my AMAZING experience at the posh gym. School is giving out free week passes and I'm going to see if they'll let me in even though I did that last year. So fantastic.
Off to Boston tonight! No entries until probably Saturday.
So, I went through a series of plans in my head to deal with this. And in the end of course I took the most logical and grownup course, because I am a responsible old lady. I went to the facilities manager and told him that it appeared he had removed most of the stuff that I (and other women) like to use, and that it was hard for me to do my workout now. It's kind of hard to explain when I don't know the technical terms for things, but I was like "And the machines, they have plastic, and you can't put on a plate." I was able to make him understand, and he said that they're still settling in and things would be improving. So I said "Well, just remember to think of the women." I'm such an awesome crusader for good. Actually, I just happen to have gone to a women's college, so my first experiences with lifting weights were in a weight room specifically designed for women. I was told that this was an amazing and rare thing, but I didn't realize how true that was until I got here. Even my wonderful little Bally's in Boystown, Chicago had pretty decent stuff for women.
Anyway, upper body workout is checked off and I'm letting go of my anger, trying to have some faith that when I get back in the gym on Saturday or Sunday after my trip, it will be improved. And if not, then I can go through the rest of my list of solutions, most of which involve throwing a temper tantrum and asking for my money back, then joining the $130/mo posh gym down the street. Most of my solutions to life's problems seem to lead me in that direction, but I really can't. Besides it already being $130/month, and therefore cutting into my budget for entertainment and eating and rent, it's far enough away that to actually go there regularly I'd have to buy a monthly subway pass, which adds $76 to the monthly price. Ouch. For $100 I'd just live there and stop going out to anyplace else, but $200/month sadly isn't worth it at this point, despite the awesomeness of the locker room and sauna and everything else. One day I'll have to blog about my AMAZING experience at the posh gym. School is giving out free week passes and I'm going to see if they'll let me in even though I did that last year. So fantastic.
Off to Boston tonight! No entries until probably Saturday.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
UGH
Today was hard. All the challenges, they were there. In fact, they're still kind of there since I'm tempted to go out to the gay bar with some kids from school but I think I may have to be responsible and just go to bed. After watching several episodes of Boston Legal, of course. Probably I should save them for my train trip tomorrow, but I have lots of boring homework to do on the train, so that's ok.
I SPRANG out of bed this morning, without hitting snooze because I know I would've slept until noon if I hit snooze. So I got up, got dressed, weighed in (ugh!) and shlepped over to the gym, all the while feeling very sorry for myself. Especially because the weight loss is so slow. But you know, I'm going to give it at least another week before I start tweaking, aside from my bump up in the cardio department. So I went to the gym, busted out some HIIT, which was also a bit disappointing because try as I might, I couldn't get my heart rate up for the first several minutes. I think my leg muscles are just getting too tired - I lifted heavy yesterday and I'm sore, so I couldn't move my legs fast enough to get the blood pumping, until I'd been at it for like 10 minutes. So, that was lame, but in the end I did get very sweaty and the last 10 minutes were grueling. And then I did 25 mins on the elliptical and went home. The Mika cd is doing a lot for my mood, but the honeymoon phase seems to be coming to a close, and now it's just hard work.
And temptation. So, lunch was a bit difficult because I didn't know where we'd be going and somehow they didn't get the memo about me being a vegetarian, so we ended up at an Italian place where of course the only vegan thing on the menu was spaghetti marinara. Which was delicious, and fortunately it's a fancy Midtown Italian place so the portion was wee. And I ate so slowly and carefully so I wouldn't get it on my shirt, that by the time I got 3/4 of the way through it I was stuffed. I also had a little bitter greens salad that was gloriously lightly dressed. So, not that much damage, although pasta is so off limits and wasn't even that exciting. And then I went out to dinner (oy) with some chicks from my alma mater who now go to my law school, where I ordered a great big salad that had avocado but dressing was on the side and totally unnecessary due to the rich avocado that I mashed into everything. So, I don't know exactly what the damage was on that, but it was a very hearty salad and I ate a lot of it. And had a glass of wine. So, what I'm saying is, I went off plan in a kind of planned way, but it didn't feel good. I'm happy that tomorrow I have more control, but I'm also doing pretty ok at not freaking out about what's in my stomach.
The damage (today's stats):
workout: 20 mins HIIT on bike, 25 mins LISS on elliptical
M1: kashi cereal, blueberries, coffee
M2: almonds
M3: green salad, wee spaghetti marinara, more coffee
M4: pear (not so much a meal as the other half of M2)
M5: great big green salad with avocado, black beans, mango, chickpeas, glass of white wine
M6: grilled tempeh, slice of sprouted bread, teriyaki sauce
approximate, overly optimistic sum-up: ~1600 calories, 14% protein (too low!), 56% carbs, 30% fat (too high!)
Tomorrow's going to be a crazy day - upper body workout, another job interview with lunch, errands, packing, train to Boston, check into fancy hotel, get ready for onslaught of more interviews. I'm so glad I'm planning out my meals ahead of time, to the extent that's possible. I just need to get through the next few days and then next week will be more predictable. I'm on a roll, lack of weightloss notwithstanding, and I'm not letting it get away from me. I feel awesome. And fat. But the muscles underneath the fat are totally increasing in awesomeness, so one day soon progress may actually be visible to the human eye. A girl can hope, anyway!
I SPRANG out of bed this morning, without hitting snooze because I know I would've slept until noon if I hit snooze. So I got up, got dressed, weighed in (ugh!) and shlepped over to the gym, all the while feeling very sorry for myself. Especially because the weight loss is so slow. But you know, I'm going to give it at least another week before I start tweaking, aside from my bump up in the cardio department. So I went to the gym, busted out some HIIT, which was also a bit disappointing because try as I might, I couldn't get my heart rate up for the first several minutes. I think my leg muscles are just getting too tired - I lifted heavy yesterday and I'm sore, so I couldn't move my legs fast enough to get the blood pumping, until I'd been at it for like 10 minutes. So, that was lame, but in the end I did get very sweaty and the last 10 minutes were grueling. And then I did 25 mins on the elliptical and went home. The Mika cd is doing a lot for my mood, but the honeymoon phase seems to be coming to a close, and now it's just hard work.
And temptation. So, lunch was a bit difficult because I didn't know where we'd be going and somehow they didn't get the memo about me being a vegetarian, so we ended up at an Italian place where of course the only vegan thing on the menu was spaghetti marinara. Which was delicious, and fortunately it's a fancy Midtown Italian place so the portion was wee. And I ate so slowly and carefully so I wouldn't get it on my shirt, that by the time I got 3/4 of the way through it I was stuffed. I also had a little bitter greens salad that was gloriously lightly dressed. So, not that much damage, although pasta is so off limits and wasn't even that exciting. And then I went out to dinner (oy) with some chicks from my alma mater who now go to my law school, where I ordered a great big salad that had avocado but dressing was on the side and totally unnecessary due to the rich avocado that I mashed into everything. So, I don't know exactly what the damage was on that, but it was a very hearty salad and I ate a lot of it. And had a glass of wine. So, what I'm saying is, I went off plan in a kind of planned way, but it didn't feel good. I'm happy that tomorrow I have more control, but I'm also doing pretty ok at not freaking out about what's in my stomach.
The damage (today's stats):
workout: 20 mins HIIT on bike, 25 mins LISS on elliptical
M1: kashi cereal, blueberries, coffee
M2: almonds
M3: green salad, wee spaghetti marinara, more coffee
M4: pear (not so much a meal as the other half of M2)
M5: great big green salad with avocado, black beans, mango, chickpeas, glass of white wine
M6: grilled tempeh, slice of sprouted bread, teriyaki sauce
approximate, overly optimistic sum-up: ~1600 calories, 14% protein (too low!), 56% carbs, 30% fat (too high!)
Tomorrow's going to be a crazy day - upper body workout, another job interview with lunch, errands, packing, train to Boston, check into fancy hotel, get ready for onslaught of more interviews. I'm so glad I'm planning out my meals ahead of time, to the extent that's possible. I just need to get through the next few days and then next week will be more predictable. I'm on a roll, lack of weightloss notwithstanding, and I'm not letting it get away from me. I feel awesome. And fat. But the muscles underneath the fat are totally increasing in awesomeness, so one day soon progress may actually be visible to the human eye. A girl can hope, anyway!
Monday, August 27, 2007
3 posts in one day - yow!
Just a quick note to say OH MY GOD I AM SO HUNGRY!
I've been sooooo hungry all damn day, even half an hour after I eat a big, fiber-rific meal. I've got one coming up in a pretty short while, but man oh man. It's funny because I'm still not really tempted to cheat, I just feel uncomfortable and impatient for it to be mealtime. Planning meals is such a revelation. I've tried to do it in the past but the mistake I make is buying stuff that's not in the plan and then not buying everything that is in the plan, then just trying to fudge it. That doesn't work. Anyway, in a few minutes I'll start cooking up my tasty dinner of sweet potatoes, cauliflower and tempeh. I'm having that for meal 5 and then again in a few hours for meal 6. Yay!
I've been sooooo hungry all damn day, even half an hour after I eat a big, fiber-rific meal. I've got one coming up in a pretty short while, but man oh man. It's funny because I'm still not really tempted to cheat, I just feel uncomfortable and impatient for it to be mealtime. Planning meals is such a revelation. I've tried to do it in the past but the mistake I make is buying stuff that's not in the plan and then not buying everything that is in the plan, then just trying to fudge it. That doesn't work. Anyway, in a few minutes I'll start cooking up my tasty dinner of sweet potatoes, cauliflower and tempeh. I'm having that for meal 5 and then again in a few hours for meal 6. Yay!
Day 9
Kickass lower body workout, check.
25 mins on elliptical, low impact, rudely interrupted halfway thru by some girl who unplugged all the ellipticals, check.
Today I planned to "practice" getting up early and going to the gym, since the next 2 days I have job interviews in the morning and other crap to do all day so I'm planning on hitting the gym early. Needless to say, I failed at getting up and going at 6:30. I got up, but then I laid in bed and listened to NPR (aka my alarm) and had dreams about the news and got out of bed at 8:30, with great difficulty. I finally made it to the gym around 10:30, and the freshmen are still arriving, in bigger numbers today. They were even in the gym, walking around with nametags on and parents in tow, gawking at those of us who went there to work out. I couldn't help but laugh - I can't believe that it's been so long since that was me. I was such a clueless, scared kid, and I had it easy settling into a small liberal arts school in the suburbs. It wasn't far from home, literally or figuratively.
Anyway, the workout was good. I had a bad attitude about doing cardio, but 25 minutes is an amount of time I can last with a bad attitude. In my gym-going glory days I used to bust out 45 minutes on the stepmill (aka Satan Machine), then hop on the elliptical for another 25-30 minutes. And I'd crawl home afterwards and have to eat as fast as possible so I wouldn't die. In retrospect, might've been a good idea to bring a granola bar or gatorade so I could get something in my stomach less than an hour after that marathon.
25 mins on elliptical, low impact, rudely interrupted halfway thru by some girl who unplugged all the ellipticals, check.
Today I planned to "practice" getting up early and going to the gym, since the next 2 days I have job interviews in the morning and other crap to do all day so I'm planning on hitting the gym early. Needless to say, I failed at getting up and going at 6:30. I got up, but then I laid in bed and listened to NPR (aka my alarm) and had dreams about the news and got out of bed at 8:30, with great difficulty. I finally made it to the gym around 10:30, and the freshmen are still arriving, in bigger numbers today. They were even in the gym, walking around with nametags on and parents in tow, gawking at those of us who went there to work out. I couldn't help but laugh - I can't believe that it's been so long since that was me. I was such a clueless, scared kid, and I had it easy settling into a small liberal arts school in the suburbs. It wasn't far from home, literally or figuratively.
Anyway, the workout was good. I had a bad attitude about doing cardio, but 25 minutes is an amount of time I can last with a bad attitude. In my gym-going glory days I used to bust out 45 minutes on the stepmill (aka Satan Machine), then hop on the elliptical for another 25-30 minutes. And I'd crawl home afterwards and have to eat as fast as possible so I wouldn't die. In retrospect, might've been a good idea to bring a granola bar or gatorade so I could get something in my stomach less than an hour after that marathon.
Off Track?
I squeezed in a long walk last night, which had my old bones pretty tired by the end - a good sign, I think. And then I came home with my friend, and proceeded to drink a lot of wine. I replaced Meal 6 with 2.5 glasses of wine and a bit of popcorn. The calories balance out, more or less, but I felt bad about it... It doesn't help that the scale hasn't yet gotten back to the awe-inspiring point it was at on Thursday last week. I have to kind of accept that that low was just a fluctuation and stop freaking out about it. This process is kind of nerve-wracking, especially because I'm working hard at building muscle, so the weight loss might be slow because of that. I haven't been taking my body fat measurement every day, but I'll have to keep track of that and hopefully see some movement.
Plan for today - LBWO, 25-30 mins on elliptical, eating clean and no drinking and early to bed!
Plan for today - LBWO, 25-30 mins on elliptical, eating clean and no drinking and early to bed!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Day 8: Pow!
20 mins hi-intensity intervals on the bike, 25 mins med-intensity on the elliptical
Very sweaty, very satisfying - I love that most of the kids aren't back to school yet so the gym is deserted all the time. Not going to be that way for long, I suspect.
And I am so hungry right now that I'm going to eat my own hand, but I'm going to stick it out and wait until 2:30 since that's when I told myself I'd be having my next meal, and I even kind of cheated by not having the last one until 1 instead of 12:30. So, yes, I can wait 90 minutes in between eating, even if I am hungry and there's delicious stuff in the fridge. The delicious stuff is all ON PLAN stuff that has to last a while, so I'm keeping my face out of it.
I have pretty much mapped out meals and activities for the week, including my ultra-masochistic FIVE job interviews that I have scheduled on Tuesday thru Friday. I'm going to do my best not to get freaked out when things get a little off track, but generally I built myself a pretty flexible schedule. I'm bringing almonds, pears, clif bars and vegan protein shakes so I'll be able to fill in the blanks with those, and my hotel has an Au Bon Pain in it so I'll be able to get those tasty and reasonably healthy (if you skip the cheese and eat half) Mediterranean wraps that I used to have for lunch a lot. I'm such a cheap date for all these law firms. I'm only going from NYC to Boston, much cheaper than if I were a west coast kid, I got an awesome bargain on my hotel, and I've planned out dinners for myself that run about $6. If I weren't dieting during this process I'm sure I'd gain 15 pounds. So, sticking to the plan, as much as possible, and definitely hitting the pathetic hotel fitness room daily. Or, if it's really bad, doing cardio intervals running past the posh people down Newbury Street. Now that's living!
Very sweaty, very satisfying - I love that most of the kids aren't back to school yet so the gym is deserted all the time. Not going to be that way for long, I suspect.
And I am so hungry right now that I'm going to eat my own hand, but I'm going to stick it out and wait until 2:30 since that's when I told myself I'd be having my next meal, and I even kind of cheated by not having the last one until 1 instead of 12:30. So, yes, I can wait 90 minutes in between eating, even if I am hungry and there's delicious stuff in the fridge. The delicious stuff is all ON PLAN stuff that has to last a while, so I'm keeping my face out of it.
I have pretty much mapped out meals and activities for the week, including my ultra-masochistic FIVE job interviews that I have scheduled on Tuesday thru Friday. I'm going to do my best not to get freaked out when things get a little off track, but generally I built myself a pretty flexible schedule. I'm bringing almonds, pears, clif bars and vegan protein shakes so I'll be able to fill in the blanks with those, and my hotel has an Au Bon Pain in it so I'll be able to get those tasty and reasonably healthy (if you skip the cheese and eat half) Mediterranean wraps that I used to have for lunch a lot. I'm such a cheap date for all these law firms. I'm only going from NYC to Boston, much cheaper than if I were a west coast kid, I got an awesome bargain on my hotel, and I've planned out dinners for myself that run about $6. If I weren't dieting during this process I'm sure I'd gain 15 pounds. So, sticking to the plan, as much as possible, and definitely hitting the pathetic hotel fitness room daily. Or, if it's really bad, doing cardio intervals running past the posh people down Newbury Street. Now that's living!
Wah
My weight bounced back up and is now giving me a reading 3 lb heavier than what it said a few days ago. I'm chalking it up to salty stuff yesterday, but this week I'm going to do my best to kick up the cardio. The BFL intervals stuff is mainly designed for guys who don't need a lot of cardio to burn off fat - successful ladies seem to be the ones who do a bit extra. So I'm going to add a stint on the elliptical to my bike intervals today and do that whenever I'm able to spare the time.
I just booked my hotel for my Boston interview trip next week, and although I suspect the "fitness facility" is probably a couple of dumbbells and a treadmill, I'll be on it. It's a very old hotel with a posh sounding name, but apparently the rooms are very tiny. Still, how fabulous! This is my first time staying in a hotel by myself, and the posh name definitely counts.
I just booked my hotel for my Boston interview trip next week, and although I suspect the "fitness facility" is probably a couple of dumbbells and a treadmill, I'll be on it. It's a very old hotel with a posh sounding name, but apparently the rooms are very tiny. Still, how fabulous! This is my first time staying in a hotel by myself, and the posh name definitely counts.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
About Me
I'm feeling as though the time is right for the obligatory bit of autobiographical information, just in case I manage to integrate myself into the blogging community, and also for posterity.
As the sidebar helpfully points out, my name is Rosalie. I'm a law student in New York City, about to begin my second year, and I'll be 25 in just under two weeks. I moved here from Chicago, which in my opinion is the eating capital of America. Originally I'm from New England, which is a wonderful place to grow up and a likely contender for where I'll go after this.
I come from a chubby family - there are a variety of reasons why this is true, but to the credit of my parents, I will say, I grew up in a house where almost without exception, they would never, ever say anything derogatory about my weight or my completely sedentary, indoor-kid lifestyle. Although, looking back I kind of wish someone had pointed it out to me that when I was 13 and we moved to a town where I no longer walked 2 miles round trip to get to school every day, I must have gained 20-30 lb in a year. I honestly didn't notice. Maybe it was later that I gained it - I stayed more or less the same clothing size from then until college but probably the clothes got tighter, and I definitely wore my stretched-out jeans until they disintegrated because I was scared to shop for new ones. 8th to 9th grade was when I got to be around the size that I stayed until 2 years ago. That was when the weight loss light bulb went on for me. I had fallen in love, and joined a gym, and my kitchen was the site of a few roach sightings so I was hesitant to go near it. I worked out like a madwoman, and loved every second of it. I lost 30 pounds and felt amazing. Then, law school.
Actually, it started last summer when I quit the gym and took a few trips to lands where vegetables are basically unheard of (Newfoundland, Estonia). I drank a lot of beer, I didn't exercise, I ate as much cheese as my lactose-sensitive stomach could bear. But then I got to law school and it was really stressful - go figure. I had intended to spend lots of time in the gym and to pack myself healthy lunches every day. I did ok with lunches, but the gym was a no-go because I was too busy freaking out about school and the long-distance relationship and all that to do much besides read, take baths, drink wine and eat chocolate. Don't even get me started on the unhealthy coping mechanisms that got me through finals, a bad bout of depression and anxiety and a painful breakup 3 weeks before finals in the spring. So, in my first year I gained back 15 pounds. That's where I was as of last week when I kicked this challenge into gear.
I started reading fitness blogs at some point while I was working at my meaningless, boring job in Chicago, and I got hooked. There is so much information out there, and it's so easy to find! I read John Stone Forum and a couple of other sites religiously and absorbed it all. I read a few books, one of which was Body For Life, the program I'm following now. Overall, what I've learned is that ANY reasonable fitness and diet program works great if you actually follow it - it's simplistic to say that, but it's true. Discipline is the key, and without it you've got nothing. So that's what I'm focusing on. I've got a schedule every day and I refer to it all day, checking off each meal, workout, errand, etc. Can you tell I'm a virgo?
At this point in my life, I feel more powerful and in control than I ever have. I'm kicking ass in law school, I'm in the process of finding myself a really excellent job for next summer, and I'm feeling almost none of the anxiety that was paralyzing me six months ago (and without medication, though that's an option I haven't eliminated if it comes back). I'm young and single in the city, about to start a great year, and I'm working my ass off in the gym. I have the life that everyone wants, so it's time to start f'ing living it, eh?! I am very excited about what the next 11 weeks and the next many years have in store. I hope I have the same level of enthusiasm when this challenge is over - only time will tell.
As the sidebar helpfully points out, my name is Rosalie. I'm a law student in New York City, about to begin my second year, and I'll be 25 in just under two weeks. I moved here from Chicago, which in my opinion is the eating capital of America. Originally I'm from New England, which is a wonderful place to grow up and a likely contender for where I'll go after this.
I come from a chubby family - there are a variety of reasons why this is true, but to the credit of my parents, I will say, I grew up in a house where almost without exception, they would never, ever say anything derogatory about my weight or my completely sedentary, indoor-kid lifestyle. Although, looking back I kind of wish someone had pointed it out to me that when I was 13 and we moved to a town where I no longer walked 2 miles round trip to get to school every day, I must have gained 20-30 lb in a year. I honestly didn't notice. Maybe it was later that I gained it - I stayed more or less the same clothing size from then until college but probably the clothes got tighter, and I definitely wore my stretched-out jeans until they disintegrated because I was scared to shop for new ones. 8th to 9th grade was when I got to be around the size that I stayed until 2 years ago. That was when the weight loss light bulb went on for me. I had fallen in love, and joined a gym, and my kitchen was the site of a few roach sightings so I was hesitant to go near it. I worked out like a madwoman, and loved every second of it. I lost 30 pounds and felt amazing. Then, law school.
Actually, it started last summer when I quit the gym and took a few trips to lands where vegetables are basically unheard of (Newfoundland, Estonia). I drank a lot of beer, I didn't exercise, I ate as much cheese as my lactose-sensitive stomach could bear. But then I got to law school and it was really stressful - go figure. I had intended to spend lots of time in the gym and to pack myself healthy lunches every day. I did ok with lunches, but the gym was a no-go because I was too busy freaking out about school and the long-distance relationship and all that to do much besides read, take baths, drink wine and eat chocolate. Don't even get me started on the unhealthy coping mechanisms that got me through finals, a bad bout of depression and anxiety and a painful breakup 3 weeks before finals in the spring. So, in my first year I gained back 15 pounds. That's where I was as of last week when I kicked this challenge into gear.
I started reading fitness blogs at some point while I was working at my meaningless, boring job in Chicago, and I got hooked. There is so much information out there, and it's so easy to find! I read John Stone Forum and a couple of other sites religiously and absorbed it all. I read a few books, one of which was Body For Life, the program I'm following now. Overall, what I've learned is that ANY reasonable fitness and diet program works great if you actually follow it - it's simplistic to say that, but it's true. Discipline is the key, and without it you've got nothing. So that's what I'm focusing on. I've got a schedule every day and I refer to it all day, checking off each meal, workout, errand, etc. Can you tell I'm a virgo?
At this point in my life, I feel more powerful and in control than I ever have. I'm kicking ass in law school, I'm in the process of finding myself a really excellent job for next summer, and I'm feeling almost none of the anxiety that was paralyzing me six months ago (and without medication, though that's an option I haven't eliminated if it comes back). I'm young and single in the city, about to start a great year, and I'm working my ass off in the gym. I have the life that everyone wants, so it's time to start f'ing living it, eh?! I am very excited about what the next 11 weeks and the next many years have in store. I hope I have the same level of enthusiasm when this challenge is over - only time will tell.
Free Day
I've obviously been looking forward to this day all week, but in an apprehensive way. It's not a part of most diets, but from all the reading I've done in the last couple years I've seen that it is a part of a lot of programs that are heavy on the weightlifting stuff. Or maybe it's a part of the more strict programs, where there are forbidden foods most of the time, so you need a time when you take a break regularly. The BFL book has super strict eating rules for the weekdays, and then they tell you to go wild (but you know, not TOO wild) on the seventh day, to get it out of your system so you can get back to "clean" eating and working out the next day.
As a vegan, I've been doing some stuff that's really different from BFL eating, because they don't give you a lot of vegan options. For vegetarians, there's theoretically just a lot of cottage cheese. I count calories and eat six meals that are each around 250-300 calories each, and balance out my protein, fat and carbs so it's about 25% protein, 25% fat and 50% carbs (coming from veggies, fruit and whole grains). If I did a straightforward BFL eating program it would be closer to doing Atkins I guess, and maybe somewhat lower calorie, but I want to build a good muscle base so I don't want to go much below 1500 a day with exercise. And eating a whole lot of veggies and whole grains is part of my life plan, so that's not going to get compromised.
So far so good. My weigh in this morning was a bit higher than yesterday, but still a solid 2.5 pounds down from Sunday. And that's even with puking my guts out last Saturday so I think my initial weigh in may have been a bit low.
Anyway, free day report - I skipped my morning cereal because I'd been dreaming about foccacia and I was determined to find some. I went to the Green Market but they didn't have any! I ended up at Whole Foods and bought a hunk of (non-cheesy, yay) onion foccacia plus a jar of eggplant caviar. I had about half of it in the store, stopped when I was full, and had the rest after I went and saw a movie. I had a bit more eggplant caviar with some of my usual flourless sandwich bread after I got home, and now I've ordered some Ethiopian food for dinner. My general feeling about this was that I should not bring anything into the house that will still be here after today. So it'll be a struggle to throw away my Ethiopian leftovers after I'm done tonight, but it's better than if I went out and bought something decadent to cook and then had to look at it all week. I'll have to hammer out a plan for free day, or maybe just turn it into free meal at a restaurant, to keep it in check. I found that I also felt pretty free to spend a ton of money today, which isn't so great either. But I went by the health food store and got a bunch of the best local tofu, tempeh on sale and some quinoa and millet. I was intending to buy a bunch of new grains, but they didn't have as much variety as I'd thought.
And that's the full report. I'm exhausted from being out in the hot sun, and I think I may be really pathetic and spend yet another weekend night in. I'm a ridiculous homebody, but I have such a complex about it when I have roommates. I'm so satisfied to stay in and watch a movie on Saturday night. I was going to go see a band, but then my nap lasted way too long to get to Brooklyn in time. I miss living in Brooklyn a little, but actually it's way less than I thought. I'm really happy to be back in my own place, I'm stoked that I have a gym nearby, and I'm excited to start school again. Who would've expected it?!
As a vegan, I've been doing some stuff that's really different from BFL eating, because they don't give you a lot of vegan options. For vegetarians, there's theoretically just a lot of cottage cheese. I count calories and eat six meals that are each around 250-300 calories each, and balance out my protein, fat and carbs so it's about 25% protein, 25% fat and 50% carbs (coming from veggies, fruit and whole grains). If I did a straightforward BFL eating program it would be closer to doing Atkins I guess, and maybe somewhat lower calorie, but I want to build a good muscle base so I don't want to go much below 1500 a day with exercise. And eating a whole lot of veggies and whole grains is part of my life plan, so that's not going to get compromised.
So far so good. My weigh in this morning was a bit higher than yesterday, but still a solid 2.5 pounds down from Sunday. And that's even with puking my guts out last Saturday so I think my initial weigh in may have been a bit low.
Anyway, free day report - I skipped my morning cereal because I'd been dreaming about foccacia and I was determined to find some. I went to the Green Market but they didn't have any! I ended up at Whole Foods and bought a hunk of (non-cheesy, yay) onion foccacia plus a jar of eggplant caviar. I had about half of it in the store, stopped when I was full, and had the rest after I went and saw a movie. I had a bit more eggplant caviar with some of my usual flourless sandwich bread after I got home, and now I've ordered some Ethiopian food for dinner. My general feeling about this was that I should not bring anything into the house that will still be here after today. So it'll be a struggle to throw away my Ethiopian leftovers after I'm done tonight, but it's better than if I went out and bought something decadent to cook and then had to look at it all week. I'll have to hammer out a plan for free day, or maybe just turn it into free meal at a restaurant, to keep it in check. I found that I also felt pretty free to spend a ton of money today, which isn't so great either. But I went by the health food store and got a bunch of the best local tofu, tempeh on sale and some quinoa and millet. I was intending to buy a bunch of new grains, but they didn't have as much variety as I'd thought.
And that's the full report. I'm exhausted from being out in the hot sun, and I think I may be really pathetic and spend yet another weekend night in. I'm a ridiculous homebody, but I have such a complex about it when I have roommates. I'm so satisfied to stay in and watch a movie on Saturday night. I was going to go see a band, but then my nap lasted way too long to get to Brooklyn in time. I miss living in Brooklyn a little, but actually it's way less than I thought. I'm really happy to be back in my own place, I'm stoked that I have a gym nearby, and I'm excited to start school again. Who would've expected it?!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Day 6
Never got around to finishing my post from yesterday, but it is Friday evening and I have survived (just about) the first week out of 12! Hooray. This was almost definitely the easiest one, because despite the stress and ridiculousness of my schedule, it was a fixed schedule and there were no temptations to go out to dinner or eat convenience food because I just couldn't and didn't have the easy foods in the house.
I had a bad attitude about going to they gym today, largely because right before I left I decided that I think the weird dry spot on my lip is going to turn into a cold sore, which if it does is going to be pretty tragic because (a) I've never had one and (b) I have job interviews next week AUGGGH! I'm trying to be chill about it since there's nothing I can do (besides take lysine supplements, which I just bought) and because stress is supposed to make it worse. So I'm applying SPF lip balm constantly, taking the lysine and coping. But I had it in my head that there was no option about the gym, just had to go, even though I was cranky and even though the only gym clothes left were the ones I hate. I really need to buy some more shorts since I'm not yet comfortable wearing the super short ones I used to wear sometimes.
Yesterday was pretty awesome. I did essentially nothing, and really enjoyed it. I had a few drinks at the end of the day, which I have kind of mixed feelings on when it comes to this dieting thing. I don't think I can commit to not drinking during the week at all, but I'm definitely limiting it to a glass or two of wine, or a martini, and it's getting counted in calories, obviously. Which means I'm eating a bit less, which means I'm getting drunk fast, so the glass of wine and the martini I had last night hit me pretty hard. I actually ended up eating a clif bar before bed just to soak up the alcohol, along with a ton of water, but I feel okay about how all of that went. I'm just not going to do it often.
Next week, the interview lunches start, which should be tough. The plan as of now is to get salads with dressing on the side, along with maybe a roll. That should be a reasonable meal for me, and I'm going to carry clif bars, almonds and pears to carry me through the long days of interviewing. The hardest part will just be feeling in control when I don't necessarily know what's coming next. And eating less than a whole portion when the only options available are not "clean" foods. But I'm going to get through it, and log it all, and keep writing here to keep myself on track. I'm doing AWESOME so far - in the past 5 days I seem to have lost about 3 and a half lb. So, I have to keep the faith and not let anything get me off track.
Tomorrow is my first free day, which is such an awesomely exciting prospect. I've never made it to this point before. I'm actually not craving anything except foccacia, which I'm not entirely sure I'm going to get, since the kind I like has cheese and I'm doing really well avoiding dairy. At the very least, I'm getting a little loaf of really good bread and some tomatoes and basil to have with it. Mmmmmm. Bread is my biggest craving of the week, and it was hard to walk by it at the farmer's market yesterday. I think I'll also be going out to dinner with my friend and her mom, so maybe I can get myself a little pasta or something equally delicious and sinful. Then it's back on track Sunday with some good food prep for the week ahead as well. I am almost 1/12 of the way through this journey, and I feel really great so far.
I had a bad attitude about going to they gym today, largely because right before I left I decided that I think the weird dry spot on my lip is going to turn into a cold sore, which if it does is going to be pretty tragic because (a) I've never had one and (b) I have job interviews next week AUGGGH! I'm trying to be chill about it since there's nothing I can do (besides take lysine supplements, which I just bought) and because stress is supposed to make it worse. So I'm applying SPF lip balm constantly, taking the lysine and coping. But I had it in my head that there was no option about the gym, just had to go, even though I was cranky and even though the only gym clothes left were the ones I hate. I really need to buy some more shorts since I'm not yet comfortable wearing the super short ones I used to wear sometimes.
Yesterday was pretty awesome. I did essentially nothing, and really enjoyed it. I had a few drinks at the end of the day, which I have kind of mixed feelings on when it comes to this dieting thing. I don't think I can commit to not drinking during the week at all, but I'm definitely limiting it to a glass or two of wine, or a martini, and it's getting counted in calories, obviously. Which means I'm eating a bit less, which means I'm getting drunk fast, so the glass of wine and the martini I had last night hit me pretty hard. I actually ended up eating a clif bar before bed just to soak up the alcohol, along with a ton of water, but I feel okay about how all of that went. I'm just not going to do it often.
Next week, the interview lunches start, which should be tough. The plan as of now is to get salads with dressing on the side, along with maybe a roll. That should be a reasonable meal for me, and I'm going to carry clif bars, almonds and pears to carry me through the long days of interviewing. The hardest part will just be feeling in control when I don't necessarily know what's coming next. And eating less than a whole portion when the only options available are not "clean" foods. But I'm going to get through it, and log it all, and keep writing here to keep myself on track. I'm doing AWESOME so far - in the past 5 days I seem to have lost about 3 and a half lb. So, I have to keep the faith and not let anything get me off track.
Tomorrow is my first free day, which is such an awesomely exciting prospect. I've never made it to this point before. I'm actually not craving anything except foccacia, which I'm not entirely sure I'm going to get, since the kind I like has cheese and I'm doing really well avoiding dairy. At the very least, I'm getting a little loaf of really good bread and some tomatoes and basil to have with it. Mmmmmm. Bread is my biggest craving of the week, and it was hard to walk by it at the farmer's market yesterday. I think I'll also be going out to dinner with my friend and her mom, so maybe I can get myself a little pasta or something equally delicious and sinful. Then it's back on track Sunday with some good food prep for the week ahead as well. I am almost 1/12 of the way through this journey, and I feel really great so far.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Day 4
Jeeeeeeeeeepers.
I am seriously wiped out, for a variety of reasons. I just finished 5 days of nonstop job interviewing, and I am so happy that I don't have to talk to any strangers about my enthusiasm about the law tomorrow. I'm going to sit in front of the tv, watch the Boston Legal dvd that just came from netflix (yes, ironic, I know), and not talk to anyone about anything. Oh, and do some cardio intervals and eat so much healthy food.
About sticking to the diet and the exercise while interviewing: the diet part is extremely easy. I bring everything with me to the interview site (meals 2, 3, 4 and sometimes 5) and I'm relieved to be eating that instead of the crap at the lunch buffet. Plus I've actually had to remind myself to eat regularly because of the hectic schedule, so as long as I know that at X time I'm supposed to eat something, I'm not falling over at the end of the day and I'm keeping my metabolism up. It's totally working. Tomorrow could be tougher since I'll be hanging around the house, where all the food is. But actually, I don't have ANYTHING in the kitchen that's off plan, so the worst case would be that I eat a bunch of veggies and hummus or something. But also, I feel really awesome about all this right now, so I'm going to stick with it.
Yesterday I GOT UP AT 6 AM AND WENT TO THE GYM. It was incredible. I have actually done this before, many months ago, but these past few days I've been so tired. But I knew it was the only way I was getting there, so I did it, and it was great. Today not so much, as I got up and put on gym clothes, then went back to sleep until it was almost too late. But I dragged my sad, sleepy, stressed out ass to the gym circa 10:30 pm and busted out a crazy lower body weights workout, and now I can't move. My arms and pecs still hurt from the other day, so I'm one big ache. It is awesome.
I am seriously wiped out, for a variety of reasons. I just finished 5 days of nonstop job interviewing, and I am so happy that I don't have to talk to any strangers about my enthusiasm about the law tomorrow. I'm going to sit in front of the tv, watch the Boston Legal dvd that just came from netflix (yes, ironic, I know), and not talk to anyone about anything. Oh, and do some cardio intervals and eat so much healthy food.
About sticking to the diet and the exercise while interviewing: the diet part is extremely easy. I bring everything with me to the interview site (meals 2, 3, 4 and sometimes 5) and I'm relieved to be eating that instead of the crap at the lunch buffet. Plus I've actually had to remind myself to eat regularly because of the hectic schedule, so as long as I know that at X time I'm supposed to eat something, I'm not falling over at the end of the day and I'm keeping my metabolism up. It's totally working. Tomorrow could be tougher since I'll be hanging around the house, where all the food is. But actually, I don't have ANYTHING in the kitchen that's off plan, so the worst case would be that I eat a bunch of veggies and hummus or something. But also, I feel really awesome about all this right now, so I'm going to stick with it.
Yesterday I GOT UP AT 6 AM AND WENT TO THE GYM. It was incredible. I have actually done this before, many months ago, but these past few days I've been so tired. But I knew it was the only way I was getting there, so I did it, and it was great. Today not so much, as I got up and put on gym clothes, then went back to sleep until it was almost too late. But I dragged my sad, sleepy, stressed out ass to the gym circa 10:30 pm and busted out a crazy lower body weights workout, and now I can't move. My arms and pecs still hurt from the other day, so I'm one big ache. It is awesome.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Day 2
I didn't get around to posting a second time yesterday (took a huge nap instead) but I do intend to post just about every day as I make my way through this challenge. Today was Day 2, which entailed on plan eating (hooray!) and an upper body weights workout (ouch!). I had planned on getting up super early but as is typical for me, I did not succeed. When I'm done with this week of law firm interviews, I am going to make a bigger effort to do all my BFL workouts in the morning, since I won't have to be anyplace until around 11 on most days. But this week is still chaos and trying to find a job and trying to locate my missing zillion pairs of nylons, so I am ok with doing stuff at night sometimes.
This morning I woke up feeling awesome. I feel like I have a sense of purpose, partly because of the careers stuff that's going on but also because I'm committing a lot of effort to doing this fitness stuff. I've been in a rut for the past oh, 5 months, due to a variety of frustrating circumstances and some anxiety issues that pop up now and then. But moving back to my school apartment last week and refocusing on school is helping in a major way. I feel at home here for maybe the first time. So, hooray for that, and hooray for putting a bad few months behind me. In 2 and a half weeks I turn 25, and I have a very, very good feeling about this year.
Day 2 summary:
workout: upper body
M1: kashi cereal, blueberries
M2: almonds (pear was supposed to go here)
M3: veggie & hummus sandwich, carrots, pear (from M2)
M4: rice & beans salad
M5: 1/2 sweet potato, tempeh, broccoli, salsa
M6: 1/2 sweet potato, tempeh, broccoli, salsa
water: 2L so far (not enough!)
This morning I woke up feeling awesome. I feel like I have a sense of purpose, partly because of the careers stuff that's going on but also because I'm committing a lot of effort to doing this fitness stuff. I've been in a rut for the past oh, 5 months, due to a variety of frustrating circumstances and some anxiety issues that pop up now and then. But moving back to my school apartment last week and refocusing on school is helping in a major way. I feel at home here for maybe the first time. So, hooray for that, and hooray for putting a bad few months behind me. In 2 and a half weeks I turn 25, and I have a very, very good feeling about this year.
Day 2 summary:
workout: upper body
M1: kashi cereal, blueberries
M2: almonds (pear was supposed to go here)
M3: veggie & hummus sandwich, carrots, pear (from M2)
M4: rice & beans salad
M5: 1/2 sweet potato, tempeh, broccoli, salsa
M6: 1/2 sweet potato, tempeh, broccoli, salsa
water: 2L so far (not enough!)
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Day 1
The gym is not open until tomorrow, but I have to start this thing today so that I can finish by the day of my friend's wedding in November. I know working out in the hotel gym isn't going to be my top choice activity when I'm visiting Orange County for the first time and escaping New England in November for California sun.
However, I'm already 2 hours behind at this point - I had some big ideas about waking up at 7 am and getting to Central Park super early to do some cardio intervals.
I did take my initial stats, and I will say, even though this blog has not been publicly announced or anything, since I'm doing it under my real name and people who know me could find it easily, I'm not putting up my stats until there has been perceptible change, because after a year and a half of laziness, it ain't pretty.
Later on today maybe I will wax poetic about why I'm spending the next 12 weeks busting my ass, but the short version is, I need a jumpstart. I know what it takes for me to be healthy, and that involves a ton of working out, plus eating whole grains and veggies, etc., and doing all my vices in serious moderation. The first year of law school was a major setback for me - I was busy, stressed, trying to maintain a long distance relationship, dealing with serious anxiety. There were good times as well, and I always knew that I was making forward progress in my life plans, but to cope with all that I let myself indulge and didn't make up for it in the gym. This year, I've got more stability. My mind and my life are here in NY, not in Chicago. I have a really solid year under my belt so I feel confident that I'm in the right place and that I can handle the work. In a couple of months I'll have my posh summer job lined up. Things are going to be hectic, but good.
And, for the sake of recording, here is what today has in store, in terms of this challenge:
10:00 am – HIIT jogging in the park
11:00 am – M1 (kashi, blueberries)
1:00 pm – M2 (almonds, apple)
3:30 pm – M3 (rice & beans salad)
6:00 pm – M4 (vegan dinner loaf, kale, edamame)
8:30 pm – M5 (vegan dinner loaf, kale, edamame)
11 pm – bed
However, I'm already 2 hours behind at this point - I had some big ideas about waking up at 7 am and getting to Central Park super early to do some cardio intervals.
I did take my initial stats, and I will say, even though this blog has not been publicly announced or anything, since I'm doing it under my real name and people who know me could find it easily, I'm not putting up my stats until there has been perceptible change, because after a year and a half of laziness, it ain't pretty.
Later on today maybe I will wax poetic about why I'm spending the next 12 weeks busting my ass, but the short version is, I need a jumpstart. I know what it takes for me to be healthy, and that involves a ton of working out, plus eating whole grains and veggies, etc., and doing all my vices in serious moderation. The first year of law school was a major setback for me - I was busy, stressed, trying to maintain a long distance relationship, dealing with serious anxiety. There were good times as well, and I always knew that I was making forward progress in my life plans, but to cope with all that I let myself indulge and didn't make up for it in the gym. This year, I've got more stability. My mind and my life are here in NY, not in Chicago. I have a really solid year under my belt so I feel confident that I'm in the right place and that I can handle the work. In a couple of months I'll have my posh summer job lined up. Things are going to be hectic, but good.
And, for the sake of recording, here is what today has in store, in terms of this challenge:
10:00 am – HIIT jogging in the park
11:00 am – M1 (kashi, blueberries)
1:00 pm – M2 (almonds, apple)
3:30 pm – M3 (rice & beans salad)
6:00 pm – M4 (vegan dinner loaf, kale, edamame)
8:30 pm – M5 (vegan dinner loaf, kale, edamame)
11 pm – bed
Saturday, August 4, 2007
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