Day 22: Tired

My sister left this morning at 5:30 or so, which was good and bad, I suppose. Yesterday my PMS and hangover combined with her inexplicable misery and crankiness had us hit a wall. I don't know what was going on, but I was ready to take her to the bus station last night at 10, because I couldn't handle her sullen teen routine anymore - she is 22 and a married woman. First I got angry because she didn't want to do anything besides play solitaire and chat with her friends on the computer (you came to NYC to do this?!). Then I wished I hadn't dragged her away from it because suddenly we were on some kind of torture march through the city where she didn't want to go back to my apartment so we wandered 25 blocks or so through the West Village, which had her entirely unimpressed.

I haven't let this be a very personal blog so far, at least in terms of talking about people other than myself, and I don't intend to include much of that, since this is about my personal journey and not about me bitching about my family. But this is something I am very troubled about - my sister and I are very close, but she is a person who has a really hard time (or refuses, depending on your perspective) with communication. She's pushing everyone in my family away AGAIN after we finally sort of broke back in. AAAAGHH! It's so, so frustrating, and I get so sick of being diplomatic about it. Be a grownup! Tell people what you need and how you feel!

So, that is weighing on my mind, and I feel badly that I was still angry and frustrated with her at the ridiculous hour that she decided to leave. We're going to have to have a serious talk. But what I need right now is also to refocus on my own life and goals. Today is getting-back-on-track day, for diet & exercise plus for school and other important life stuff.