UGH

Today was hard. All the challenges, they were there. In fact, they're still kind of there since I'm tempted to go out to the gay bar with some kids from school but I think I may have to be responsible and just go to bed. After watching several episodes of Boston Legal, of course. Probably I should save them for my train trip tomorrow, but I have lots of boring homework to do on the train, so that's ok.

I SPRANG out of bed this morning, without hitting snooze because I know I would've slept until noon if I hit snooze. So I got up, got dressed, weighed in (ugh!) and shlepped over to the gym, all the while feeling very sorry for myself. Especially because the weight loss is so slow. But you know, I'm going to give it at least another week before I start tweaking, aside from my bump up in the cardio department. So I went to the gym, busted out some HIIT, which was also a bit disappointing because try as I might, I couldn't get my heart rate up for the first several minutes. I think my leg muscles are just getting too tired - I lifted heavy yesterday and I'm sore, so I couldn't move my legs fast enough to get the blood pumping, until I'd been at it for like 10 minutes. So, that was lame, but in the end I did get very sweaty and the last 10 minutes were grueling. And then I did 25 mins on the elliptical and went home. The Mika cd is doing a lot for my mood, but the honeymoon phase seems to be coming to a close, and now it's just hard work.

And temptation. So, lunch was a bit difficult because I didn't know where we'd be going and somehow they didn't get the memo about me being a vegetarian, so we ended up at an Italian place where of course the only vegan thing on the menu was spaghetti marinara. Which was delicious, and fortunately it's a fancy Midtown Italian place so the portion was wee. And I ate so slowly and carefully so I wouldn't get it on my shirt, that by the time I got 3/4 of the way through it I was stuffed. I also had a little bitter greens salad that was gloriously lightly dressed. So, not that much damage, although pasta is so off limits and wasn't even that exciting. And then I went out to dinner (oy) with some chicks from my alma mater who now go to my law school, where I ordered a great big salad that had avocado but dressing was on the side and totally unnecessary due to the rich avocado that I mashed into everything. So, I don't know exactly what the damage was on that, but it was a very hearty salad and I ate a lot of it. And had a glass of wine. So, what I'm saying is, I went off plan in a kind of planned way, but it didn't feel good. I'm happy that tomorrow I have more control, but I'm also doing pretty ok at not freaking out about what's in my stomach.

The damage (today's stats):

workout: 20 mins HIIT on bike, 25 mins LISS on elliptical
M1: kashi cereal, blueberries, coffee
M2: almonds
M3: green salad, wee spaghetti marinara, more coffee
M4: pear (not so much a meal as the other half of M2)
M5: great big green salad with avocado, black beans, mango, chickpeas, glass of white wine
M6: grilled tempeh, slice of sprouted bread, teriyaki sauce

approximate, overly optimistic sum-up: ~1600 calories, 14% protein (too low!), 56% carbs, 30% fat (too high!)

Tomorrow's going to be a crazy day - upper body workout, another job interview with lunch, errands, packing, train to Boston, check into fancy hotel, get ready for onslaught of more interviews. I'm so glad I'm planning out my meals ahead of time, to the extent that's possible. I just need to get through the next few days and then next week will be more predictable. I'm on a roll, lack of weightloss notwithstanding, and I'm not letting it get away from me. I feel awesome. And fat. But the muscles underneath the fat are totally increasing in awesomeness, so one day soon progress may actually be visible to the human eye. A girl can hope, anyway!